Monday, April 6, 2015

Tacit self-esteem

Everyone has a different theory about the root cause of self-esteem, the results of self-esteem, and what steps or skills need to be learned in order to raise self-esteem.

Self-esteem cannot be improved through meditation, oral hygiene, or colon cleansing. Self-esteem is the same measurement only applied to yourself rather than someone else. Self-esteem is a gauge of how positively you view yourself. Just like the esteem you afford a colleague, self-esteem can wax and wane depending on circumstances.

Psychologists identify two categories of self-esteem: Tacit self-esteem is a measure of how we generally feel about ourselves, on average. Stage self-esteem can be lower or higher than our tacit self-esteem. When people confess that they suffer from low self-esteem, it is stage self-esteem that they are usually referring to.

There are a lot of articles that tie self-esteem to self-confidence, but they are not the same. Self-esteem and self-confidence are not the same.

So the question becomes, where does self-esteem come from? You will read articles that claim that low self-esteem causes students to get bad grades or that low self-esteem causes someone to experiment with drugs, abuse alcohol, or causes teenage pregnancy. Some studies have shown that high self-esteem can be more detrimental in some cases than low self-esteem. The fact is that low self-esteem doesn't cause the behaviors; the behaviors cause low self-esteem. Which brings us the answer to our question: How do you raise self-esteem? Well, if negative behaviors lower self-esteem, it makes sense that positive behaviors can raise self-esteem. Since self-esteem is a gauge or measurement for how positively we feel about ourselves, doing something that meets or exceeds our expectations of ourselves will increase our self-esteem. We ridicule ourselves and badger ourselves with negative self-talk which leads to lower self-esteem. We as coaches should stop focusing on improving self-esteem and focus on the root causes of low self-esteem. If a client expresses low stage self-esteem, focus on the event that caused the negative feelings.

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